How To Meet Women

An open letter to parents with children ages 3 months-12 years.

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Hello From Havey April 13, 2004

Hello From Havey October 10, 2004

Hello From Havey December 2, 2004

Johnny Carson 1925 - 2005

Hello From Havey January 11, 2005

Hello From Havey February 25, 2005

Hello From Havey June 21, 2005

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Johnny Carson 1925 - 2005

In the summer of 1964, on those rare nights when I would fall asleep, my father would wake me to watch the Tonight Show. We were the two night owls in the family, the only ones up. Dad had the couch, I had the floor and for the next 20 years (until my father’s death) we both shared Johnny.

We loved the show. Actors telling stories of being “on location”. Provocative starlets getting the Carson stare. Comedians dropping in and making Carson cry with laughter. The tonight show was the only honest portal into show business, and Johnny was the gate keeper.

But it was Johnny himself and the monologue that kept us tuning in night after night. His take on the days events made your days events disappear. He eased our minds before bedtime, and he made it seem effortless. My father marveled at his timing and mannerisms. He would be quick to point out how Johnny was making the laugh last longer by just smiling and waiting. I was getting an education while being entertained. How lucky can a kid get?

It was in those first 2 years of watching the show that I decided that I was going to move to New York and get into show business. Johnny Carson made it clear to me (in black and white with spotty reception) what I wanted my future to be. It wasn’t Miami and working some lame job. It was the glamour and excitement of taking cabs, going to the theatre, and running into Woody Allen on 57th Street. At the age of 11 I knew my vocation in life. Johnny Carson handed it to me.

He wasn’t my hero. He was my leader, a living beacon with a wise smirk leading the way. There were times I wasn’t on speaking terms with my father. On those nights we would watch the monologue and laugh together. And that was it.

Johnny and I always got along. No matter how your day was going, there was always Johnny to look forward to.

It would be nice if there does exist a Technicolor heaven. Johnny hitting his mark just beyond the pearly gates. Johnny doing an 8 hour monologue on his life. Warts and all. Packed house. I’d love to Tivo that.

Johnny didn’t carve a path, he cleared a gigantic field. Show business today basks in it.

Thanks Johnny.