Hillary did nothing wrong. She ran a good campaign right up to Super
Tuesday. She's smart, tough and resilient. Just a few hiccups really.
Perhaps her husband would have been better off riding in the Blue Collar
Comedy Bus wrangling trim for Larry the Cable Guy, but I'm not one to
judge. If you need to point a finger stick it towards fate. Because
nothing can stop OBAMARAMA.
OBAMARAMA has everything. The poise of Poitier. The charm of Cary Grant.
The mellow sounds of FM radio in the middle of the night when you're
thinking of that special someone. It pours over your cares and worries
and says "Relax, I'm going to take care of everything."
OBAMARAMA knows you work hard, knows that the Iraq war, the state of the
economy and cable news coverage really piss you off. That's why
OBAMARAMA wants you to hand him the reins, so he can work harder to stop
the war, bring gas back to $2.37 a gallon and let the news media try in
vain to fill its daily shit bucket because all the news is going to be
jim dandy. No longer obsessed with the actions of young coke whore
actresses, missing attractive blondes or those pesky illegal aliens, the
airwaves will be filled with Obamaramaness. And it will rejoice.
Just listen to the young people! You know, the generation that only 3
weeks ago was locked in their rooms downloading porn and contemplating
shooting sprees? These world champion darlings of self entitlement are
in their parent's faces with new found wisdom! OBAMARAMA! OBAMARAMA! And
parents are actually listening to the little shits. That's just a hint
of the power of OBAMARAMA.
Trying to fight it? It's fruitless. Give into the sirens song that wafts
from Kenya to Kansas and all points in between. Submit yourself without
reserve to OBAMARAMA! Now with Zero Trans fat!
Me? I'm going to vote for him because I'm tired of the old farts in
Washington. Besides, the democrats haven't done dick since winning the
house so what the hell do we have to lose? Also Obamarama is part Irish.
How bout them apples?
So relax……turn off the television and put your feet up and read the
funnies. OBAMARAMA IS HERE!
Or……you can vote for Ralph Nader. Havey on YouTube
more coming soon...
RICHARD JENI
Late Saturday I received word that Richard Jeni had killed himself. I
was stunned. I'd known Richard for twenty years. We came up together in
the clubs during the 80's. Every now and then during that time I would
catch his act. The scene was studded with terrific comedians. Every
monster act you know in comedy today that came out of that era was
there.
Jeni stood out from the pack.
Richards's energy was always up. He had that old school 'rat-a-tat'
delivery and a bounce to his step like Cagney. He owned the stage.
Richard was a 'balls to the walls' professional that took the art of
stand-up (and just about everything else) seriously. He never half-assed
it or played to the back of a room. Jeni worked the crowd and quickly
owned them.
Jeni was a pro.
He was one of the few guys still doing stand-up from that era. Many are
writing in television or film. Some are back home living in the
basement. Despite of what you read about the quality of Richard's
material, know this...
Jeni rocked the room. People helpless with laughter, banging tables and
crying. The kind of set few comics have...ever... Jeni had consistently.
He absolutely killed. That's all you really need to know. I ask you, who
does there job like that these days? In any profession?
Tip your hat to Richard Jeni. A man who negotiated mental set backs his
entire adult life and made millions laugh. His demise is his business.
His life was our laughter.
Report from heaven
Art Buchwald was welcomed to the pearly gates today and surprised
more than a few residents. “Holy shit” said a befuddled Frank
Sinatra, “this guy’s really funny!” Not many would argue with the
former chairmen of the board (“St Peter put the kibosh on that title
as soon as I got here”) as he watched in wonder the new arrival
working the room.
“I used to read that cockamamie column for years” continued Sinatra,
“I thought it was crap, but look at that, he just made Jonas Salk
spit out his milk.” Buchwald was in rare form as he had everyone
howling. Jack Palance wiping away tears confessed “I used to roll my
eyes every time I saw his byline, now I’m wetting my pants. He just
did his “why my kidneys are healthier than the west wing” routine
for me, Sacco and Vanzzeti. It was killer!”
Buchwald who recently passed away seems to have adapted well to his
celestial home. “It usually takes a couple of weeks to get adjusted”
remarked a beefy Karen Carpenter. “Hell, look at Gerald Ford and Bo
Schembechler. They’re still pissed off about the USC/ Michigan game.
I guess they thought they had some extra pull in heaven. Not while
John Wayne still has wings.”
While Buchwald was on a tear, not everyone was laughing. A chagrined
James Brown sat far off and moped. “He has no privileges until his
physical body is burned or buried” a nearby angel explained. “Until
that happens, he can only leave his cubicle for 20 minutes a day.
He’s scheduled to open for Jolson next Saturday; I don’t think he’s
going to make it.” Overhearing this Sinatra makes a bee line to an
archangel but gets shooed away.
“Dammit” puffed Sinatra. “I can’t get 2 minutes with God.” When
asked what the problem was the angel explained, “God is having a
therapy session with Timothy Treadwell, when he found out bears
don’t go to heaven he had a shit fit. The big guy is loosing his
patience. Timothy is heading for the heat if he doesn’t wise up.”
Suddenly trumpets sounded, the clouds opened and a flock of muscular
angels with shaved heads and tattoos exploded into the sky and
banked towards the sun heading for earth. When asked St. Peter
explained, “A new battalion of guardian angels for Keith Richards.
That’s the last batch he gets. The boss is a huge Stones fan.”
